The Law of Attraction is Harmful

Hey, everyone! Today, we’re diving deep into the law of attraction and why I believe it’s not just misguided, but actually harmful. If you’re new here, I’m Jen, a Holistic Family Consultant specializing in supporting families who are queer, non-monogamous, or neurodiverse. My mission is to help families find joy and connection, especially in their relationships with themselves, their children, and their partners. If that resonates with you, reach out! Now, let’s unpack the law of attraction.

The law of attraction is a popular concept suggesting that if you believe positively and align your thoughts, you can manifest things like money, love, and success. It’s an enticing idea, isn’t it? If everything hinges on my beliefs and actions, then I have the power to change my reality. But that’s where the trouble begins. This notion places an immense amount of blame on individuals, suggesting that if you’re not achieving your desires, it’s because you’re not believing or acting “right.”

I recently attended a business class that heavily leaned on this philosophy. It was eye-opening to see how people reacted to any skepticism. If someone expressed doubt or criticism, they were met with responses that implied they simply weren’t believing hard enough. This creates a toxic environment where individuals feel solely responsible for their struggles, ignoring the systemic barriers that exist.

• If you’re struggling financially, it’s your fault.

• If you’re unhappy in your relationship, it’s because you’re not manifesting correctly.

• Basically, if you’re not thriving, it’s a personal failing.

This mindset overlooks the complex realities of poverty, trauma, and systemic oppression. It perpetuates shame and blame, invalidating people’s experiences and perceptions. It tells them that if they feel something is wrong, it’s not the situation—it’s them. This is not only harmful but can be dangerous, particularly for those who have faced trauma.

When individuals are taught to ignore their instincts in favor of external guidance, it can lead to disconnection from their true selves. This is especially concerning for those who have experienced trauma, as they may have already learned to override their internal guidance to stay safe or maintain relationships. This disconnection breeds a lack of trust in oneself, making it easier for individuals to be manipulated or taken advantage of by others.

Even when the intentions behind these teachings are good, they can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and dis-empowerment. It’s essential to foster a sense of safety within ourselves, allowing us to navigate our lives based on our internal guidance rather than external pressures.

The law of attraction promises that if you want something badly enough, you can have it. But let’s ask ourselves: has that really worked for those who follow it? Often, it ignores the myriad of factors that contribute to one’s success, such as privilege, systemic support, and community resources. Many of those promoting the law of attraction come from backgrounds of generational wealth and privilege, making it easy for them to claim their success is solely due to their mindset.

This perspective fails to acknowledge the challenges others face due to socioeconomic status, race, gender, and other systemic barriers. It’s crucial to recognize that for many, the path to success is riddled with obstacles that cannot be wished away.

Let’s talk about trauma. We all carry different burdens, and some carry more than others due to their life experiences. The idea that we can simply let go of “limiting beliefs” without addressing the root causes is overly simplistic. Healing requires compassion and understanding of where these beliefs came from and how they have served us in the past. It’s not about simply dismissing them; it’s about recognizing their role in our lives.

For example, if someone has internalized beliefs about their worth due to past trauma, simply telling them to change their mindset is not only unhelpful but can be harmful. Healing must come from within, and it requires a nuanced understanding of one’s experiences.

Like many harmful ideas, The Law of Attraction does contain a kernel of truth: we have all internalized things that are no longer serving us. These outdated ideas and beliefs can hinder our growth and potential. However, addressing these beliefs requires a compassionate approach. Instead of shaming ourselves for having them, we should explore their origins and how they impact our lives today.

This process involves recognizing that these beliefs didn’t just appear out of nowhere. They stem from our experiences, relationships, and societal influences. Understanding this context is essential for genuine healing and transformation.

Another critical aspect to consider is the distinction between personal responsibility and external factors. Many individuals with attachment wounds from childhood often feel responsible for others’ feelings and needs, which is a heavy burden to carry. We must understand that while we have a responsibility for our own actions and reactions, we are not responsible for the feelings and experiences of others.

Shifting this perspective can be liberating. It allows individuals to focus on their healing and growth without the weight of unnecessary guilt and shame. Recognizing what is and isn’t our responsibility is fundamental to building healthier relationships with ourselves and others.

Ultimately, what I desire for you is a deep connection with your inner wisdom. This connection is vital for navigating life’s challenges and making decisions that align with your true self. It's essential to find spaces where you feel safe to express your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. A healthy community fosters acceptance, even when there are disagreements.

When someone expresses discomfort or concern in a group setting, the response should be one of inquiry and support, not blame. A healthy relationship allows for open communication and seeks solutions collaboratively. You deserve to feel welcome and valued, even when your opinions differ from those around you.

In conclusion, the law of attraction, while appealing, can be deeply harmful. It promotes a mindset that places undue blame on individuals for their struggles while ignoring the systemic factors at play. We must prioritize understanding, compassion, and connection in our healing journeys. Remember that you are not broken; you are a complex human being navigating a challenging world.

If any of this resonates with you, I invite you to connect. Together, we can work towards building relationships that feel fulfilling and supportive, contributing to a more liberated world. Let's prioritize healing and understanding over blame and shame.

Made with VideoToBlog using my original video the law of attraction is wrong and harmful.mp4 I use AI to create a written resource for those who find reading more accessible than watching a video- because I find speaking much easier to engage in than writing.